|
12 Step Workshop
|
|
Opening Prayer We ask for your healing today for all those who are affected with alcoholism and for anyone here today that needs help. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear. Open the eyes of our understanding. Give us strength to help one another on this journey. Amen. |
If you are still drinking and are planning to stop, you may want to ask your doctor for help to detox! They can help you. Quitting drinking can cause your body to experience sever medical issues. It is possible to have seizures and even worse, including death. We are not doctors here. Search out the advice of your doctor first. AA p. xxvi - (From The Doctor's Opinion) ...we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged. ...it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer. |
|
See how the very same 3 words appear in the 4th Step. |
|
Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves
|
|
Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered. We have a way that helped us to stop drinking and live happy, joyous and free from alcohol. (Ask each person these questions.) Do you want that? To what lengths are you willing to go to get it? AA 1st Ed p.70, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.58, 2nd paragraph, line 3 "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps." |
|
AA 1st Ed p.39, 2nd,3rd Ed p.291-2 & 4th Ed p.262-3, 5th paragraph, line 1 A small portion of the story, HE SOLD HIMSELF SHORT I stayed in Akron two or three weeks on my initial trip trying to absorb as much of the program and philosophy as possible. I spent a great deal of time with Dr. Bob, whenever he had the time to spare, and in the homes of two or three other people, trying to see how the family lived the program. Every evening we would meet at the home of one of the members and have coffee and doughnuts and spend a social evening. The day before I was due to go back to Chicago, it was Dr. Bob's afternoon off, he had me to the office and we spent three or four hours formally going through the Six-Step program as it was at that time. The six steps were: 1. Complete deflation. 2. Dependence and guidance from a Higher Power. 3. Moral inventory. 4. Confession. 5. Restitution. 6. Continued work with other alcoholics. Dr. Bob led me through all of these steps. At the moral inventory, he brought up several of my bad personality traits or character defects, such as
This picture is still vivid. If I live to be a hundred, it will always stand out in my mind. It was very impressive, and I wish that every A.A. could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. Dr. Bob always emphasized the religious angle very strongly, and I think it helped. I know it helped me. Dr. Bob then led me through the restitution step, in which I made a list of all of the persons I had harmed and worked out the ways and the means of slowly making restitution. Several takeaways from this example:
|
|
Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
AA 1st Ed p.34, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.24, 2nd paragraph, line 1 The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. AA 1st Ed p.41, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.30, 2nd paragraph, line 1 We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. AA 1st Ed p.45-46, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.34, 2nd paragraph, line 9 This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it, this inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. AA 1st Ed p.56, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.44, 1st paragraph, line 4 If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. AA 1st Ed p.57, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.45, 2nd paragraph, line 1 Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, thats exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. AA 1st Ed p.21-22, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.12, 2nd paragraph, line 2 My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, Why don't you choose your own conception of God? AA 1st Ed p.22, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.12, 4th paragraph, line 1 It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. AA 1st Ed p.71, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.59, 1st paragraph, line 2 But there is One who has all power, that One is God. May you find him now! AA 1st Ed p.22-23, 2nd,3rd & 4th Ed p.12, last paragraph, line 2 (Bill Wilson - a co-founder's account of the first 7 steps) For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me - and He came. (step 3 >) There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. (steps 1 & 2 >) I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. (steps 4 & 5 >) I ruthlessly faced my sins (steps 6 & 7 >) and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. |
|
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
AA 1st Ed p.6, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.xxviii, 2nd paragraph, line 3 (The Doctor's Opinion) ...the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape, they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. AA 1st Ed p.46, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.35, 1st paragraph, line 1 So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is crux of the problem. AA 1st Ed p.48, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.37, 3rd paragraph, line 5 But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. AA 1st Ed p.45-46, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.39, 1st paragraph, line 5 ... the actual or potential alcoholic with hardly an exception will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self knowledge. AA 1st Ed p.51, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.40, 3rd paragraph, line 4 (Fred) I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. How do we get past this? AA 1st Ed p.55 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.43, 4th paragraph, line 1 Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. AA 1st Ed p.72, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.60, 3rd paragraph, line 4 (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (step 1) (b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (step 2) (c) That God could and would if He were sought. (step 2) AA 1st Ed p.30, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.20, 2nd paragraph, line 4 We have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking - What do I have to do? It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. (Feel free to ask questions at any time.) AA 1st Ed p.54, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.42, 4th paragraph, line 1 Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. AA 1st Ed p.69, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.57, 1st paragraph, line 1 Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! (Ask each person these questions.) Questions! Do you want to drink? When was the last time you wanted to drink? When did you feel like not wanting to drink? |
|
Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
AA 1st Ed p.72, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.60, 5th paragraph, line 1 The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. AA 1st Ed p.74-75, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.62, 2nd paragraph, line 1 Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of
(Click Here to see A Hundred Forms of Fear... generated by Claude AI) This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. AA 1st Ed p.75, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.62, 1st paragraph, line 1 (Here's the 3rd step decision) Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director.
AA 1st Ed p.75, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.63, 1st paragraph, line 1 When we sincerely take such a position, all sorts of remarkable things follow. (We call them the 3rd Step promises.)
We were now at Step Three. We thought well before taking this step making sure that we were ready; that we could abandon ourselves utterly to Him. (You are invited to get on your knees and say this prayer with me at this time. If you are unable, don't worry about it.) One by one, each person should pray this out loud. God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always! |
|
Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
AA 1st Ed p.76, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.64-65, 4th paragraph, line 1 Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our (3rd Step) decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face (steps 4 & 5), and be rid of (steps 6 & 7), the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. (From God p.71) AA 1st Ed p.76, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.64, 2nd paragraph, line 1 Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. |
|
AA 1st Ed p.76, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.64, 3rd paragraph, line 2 AA 1st Ed p.76, 3rd-4th Ed p.64 First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. |
|
AA 1st Ed p.77-78, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.64-65, 4th paragraph, line 1 Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed PEOPLE, INSTITUTIONS or PRINCIPLES with whom we were angry. The Cause - We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were "burned up." On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our: a. Self-esteem b. Security c. Ambitions d. Personal relations e. Sex relations Which had been interfered with? We were usually as definite as this example: |
|
| Angry At | The Cause | Affects My |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Mr. Brown | His attention to my
wife. Told my wife of my mistress. Brown may get my job at the office. | Sex relations.
Self-esteem Sex relations. Self-esteem Security. Self-esteem |
| 2. Mrs. Jones | She's a nut-she
snubbed me. She She committed her hus- band for drinking. He's my friend. She's a gossip. | Self-esteem
Personal relation- ship. Self-esteem |
| 3. My employer | Unreasonable-Unjust
-Overbearing- Threatens to fire me for drinking and padding my ex- pense account. | Self-esteem
|
| 4. My wife | Misunderstands and
nags. Likes Brown. Wants house put in her name. | Pride-Personal
sex relations- Security |
|
AA 1st Ed p.78, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.66-67, 2nd paragraph, line 4 But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the light of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. AA 1st Ed p.78, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.66, 3rd paragraph, line 1 If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. AA 1st Ed p.78, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.66, 4th paragraph, line 1 We turned back to the (grudge) list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? AA 1st Ed p.78, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.66-67, 5th paragraph, line 1 This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. (Prayer) We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God Save me from being angry. Thy will be done. (Right now, pray for everyone on your resentment list. Let me know when you are done praying.) AA 1st Ed p.79, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.67, 2nd paragraph, line 1 We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but as least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. AA 1st Ed p.79, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.67, 3rd paragraph, line 1 Referring to our (Flaws) list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes (Flaws). Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight (Step 8). |
|
| Flaws in our make-up, Self manifested in various ways, Common manifestations, Sins, Character defects, Shortcomings | What we should, have done instead? In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| over-indulge (self-indulgence) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| self-pity | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| excuses (self-justification) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| egotism (self-importance) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| remorse (self-condemnation) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| restless irritable discontent (impatience) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| false pride | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| neglect (laziness) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| delay (procrastination) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| criticism | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| insincerity | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| dishonesty (lying stealing cheating) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| justification (rationalization) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| indecision/worry | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| conceit | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| carelessness (inconsiderate) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| intolerance (bitterness) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| sarcasm | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| resentment (anger) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| envy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| jealousy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| selfishness (greed) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| lust | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| hate | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| retaliate (revenge) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| suspicion | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| fear |
|
| Where were we at fault? Our own conduct. | List a person you hurt with each defect. | What we should, have done instead? In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. |
|---|---|---|
| over-indulge (self-indulgence) | ||
| self-pity | ||
| excuses (self-justification) | ||
| egotism (self-importance) | ||
| remorse (self-condemnation) | ||
| restless irritable discontent (impatience) | ||
| false pride | ||
| neglect (laziness) | ||
| delay (procrastination) | ||
| criticism | ||
| insincerity | ||
| dishonesty (lying stealing cheating) | ||
| justification (rationalization) | ||
| indecision/worry | ||
| conceit | ||
| carelessness (inconsiderate) | ||
| intolerance (bitterness) | ||
| sarcasm | ||
| resentment (anger) | ||
| envy | ||
| jealousy | ||
| selfishness (greed) | ||
| lust | ||
| hate | ||
| retaliate (revenge) | ||
| suspicion | ||
| fear |
|
AA 1st Ed p.80, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.67-68, 3rd paragraph, line 1 (Now let's go back to the Grudge List) Notice that the word FEAR is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. AA 1st Ed p.80, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.68, 1st paragraph, line 1 We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. |
| Angry At | The Cause | Affects My | (fear?) | Why we have fear? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Mr. Brown | His attention to my
wife. Told my wife of my mistress. Brown may get my job at the office. | Sex relations.
Self-esteem Sex relations. Self-esteem Security. Self-esteem | (fear) (fear) (fear) | His attention may go too far. She may take things out on her I may be out of work soon. |
| 2. Mrs. Jones | She's a nut-she
snubbed me. She She committed her hus- band for drinking. He's my friend. She's a gossip. | Self-esteem
Personal relation- ship. Self-esteem |
(fear)
(fear) | |
| 3. My employer | Unreasonable-Unjust
-Overbearing- Threatens to fire me for drinking and padding my ex- pense account. | Self-esteem
Security | (fear) | |
| 4. My wife | Misunderstands and
nags. Likes Brown. Wants house put in her name. | Pride-Personal
sex relations- Security | (fear) |
|
Are there any fears that are not connected to a resentment? |
|
AA 1st Ed p.80-81, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.68, 2nd paragraph, line 1 Perhaps there is a better way, we think so. For we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity. AA 1st Ed p.81, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.68, 3rd paragraph, line 7 (Prayer) We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. AA 1st Ed p.81-82, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.6869, 1st paragraph, line 1 Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. What can we do about them? We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and we looked at it. In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test - was it selfish or not? |
| Where were we at fault? Our own conduct. | What we should, have done instead? In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| over-indulge (self-indulgence) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| self-pity | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| excuses (self-justification) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| egotism (self-importance) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| remorse (self-condemnation) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| restless irritable discontent (impatience) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| false pride | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| neglect (laziness) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| delay (procrastination) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| criticism | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| insincerity | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| dishonesty (lying stealing cheating) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| justification (rationalization) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| indecision/worry | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| conceit | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| carelessness (inconsiderate) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| intolerance (bitterness) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| sarcasm | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| resentment (anger) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| envy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| jealousy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| selfishness (greed) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| lust | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| hate | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| retaliate (revenge) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| suspicion | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| fear |
|
AA 1st Ed p.82, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.69-70, 3rd paragraph, line 3 We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing (Step 8). In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it. God alone can judge our sex situation (any other problem). Counsel with persons is often desireable, but we let God be the final judge. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice. AA 1st Ed p.82-83, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.70-71, 2nd paragraph, line 1 Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience. AA 1st Ed p.83, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.70-71, 3rd paragraph, line 1 To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can (Step 8). In this book you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself. |
|
Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
AA 1st Ed p.84, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.72, 1st paragraph, line 1 Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is, we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. AA 1st Ed p.87, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.75, 1st paragraph, line 1 When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. STOP AND SHARE DEFECTS LIST This is where everyone takes turns sharing one line at a time. Start with "self-indulgence", then "person's name you hurt", then briefly how you hurt that person. Next person shares on "Self-indulgence..." until everyone gets all the way down to "fear". |
| Exact Natures of Our Wrongs | Whom did I hurt? (Step 8) | |
|---|---|---|
| over-indulge (self-indulgence) | ||
| self-pity | ||
| excuses (self-justification) | ||
| egotism (self-importance) | ||
| remorse (self-condemnation) | ||
| restless irritable discontent (impatience) | ||
| false pride | ||
| neglect (laziness) | ||
| delay (procrastination) | ||
| criticism | ||
| insincerity | ||
| dishonesty (lying stealing cheating) | ||
| justification (rationalization) | ||
| indecision/worry | ||
| conceit | ||
| carelessness (inconsiderate) | ||
| intolerance (bitterness) | ||
| sarcasm | ||
| resentment (anger) | ||
| envy | ||
| jealousy | ||
| selfishness (greed) | ||
| lust | ||
| hate | ||
| retaliate (revenge) | ||
| suspicion | ||
| fear |
| AA 1st Ed p.87, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.75, 2nd paragraph, line 2 Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. AA 1st Ed p.87-88, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.75, 3rd paragraph, line 1 Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man (person) at last. |
|
Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
AA 1st Ed p.88, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.75, 3rd paragraph, line 9 Is our work solid so far? (Yes or No?) Are the stones properly in place? (Yes or No?) Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? (Yes or No?) Have we tried to make mortar without sand? (Yes or No?) AA 1st Ed p.88, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.76, 1st paragraph, line 1 If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?(Yes or No?) Can He now take them all - every one?(Yes or No?) If we still cling to something we will not let go, (Say this Prayer) We ask God to help us be willing. |
|
Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (Step 7 itself is a prayer.)
AA 1st Ed p.88, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.76, 2nd paragraph, line 1 When ready, we say something like this: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen. We have then completed Step Seven. |
|
Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
AA 1st Ed p.88, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.76, 1st paragraph, line 1 Let's look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. (See also: p. 67, 69, 70) |
|
Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
AA 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.xix, 2nd paragraph, line 1 'As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live...' AA 1st Ed p. 143, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.130, 3rd paragraph, line 1 'Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live.' |
| DEFECTS OF CHARACTER | Person we owe amends. | We ask God what we should do about each specific matter. Spiritual Principles EXACT OPPOSITE of the DEFECT PICK ONE that is sensible to you. WRITE IT DOWN. | Which word makes sense to you? |
|---|---|---|---|
| over-indulge (self-indulgence) |
altrusim p.xxvi,
abstinence p.xxviii,
self-sacrifice p.61, finer intimacy p.134
(Added by participants: discipline, restraint, asceticism, removal, giving, unshelfishness, selflessness) | ||
| self-pity |
sympathy p.73,
pity p.67,
amends p.86
(Added by participants: resilience, compassion, support, helpfulness) | ||
| excuses (self-justification) |
responsibility p.83,
admit p.81
(Added by participants: no excuses, fairness, empathy, understanding, justice, repentance, humility) | ||
| egotism (self-importance) |
considerate p.61,
thoughtful p.131,
modest p.61,
humility p.73
(Added by participants: unassuming) | ||
| remorse (self-condemnation) |
release p.128,
live and let live p.118
(Added by participants: mercy, conviction, positivity, look forward not backward, self-valuation) | ||
| restless irritable discontent (impatience) | patience p.67, calm p.78, peace p.75 | ||
| false pride |
humility p.73,
modest p.61,
humble p.63,
tolerance p.63
(Added by participants: simplicity) | ||
| neglect (laziness) | action p.72, activity p.89, responsibility p.97 | ||
| delay (procrastination) |
prompt p.64,
waste no time p.75,
at proper time p.102
(Added by participants: action now, sense of urgency, proactive) | ||
| criticism |
commend p.35,
praise p.127
(Added by participants: compliment, positive quality focus, say something good) | ||
| insincerity |
sincerity p.77,
earnest p.70,
genuine p.160,
willingness p.67
(Added by participants: be real, straightforwardness) | ||
| dishonesty (lying stealing cheating) |
honesty p.73,
generosity p.61,
truth p.73,
frank p.78,
thorough p.70
(Added by participants: giving back, fairness) | ||
| justification (rationalization) |
reality p.xxiv,
actual p.72,
factual p.72
(Added by participants: owning up, truth, responsibilty) | ||
| indecision/worry | ask God for
inspiration
intuitive thoughts or a
decision p.86,
serenity p.68
(Added by participants: hope, firm or better decisions) | ||
| conceit |
grounded p.63,
humble p.73,
humility p.73,
equal p.51
(Added by participants: not about you) | ||
| carelessness | care p.86, attention p.68, painstaking p.83 | ||
| intolerance |
tolerance p.67,
kindness p.67
good will p.70
understanding p.162
love p.127
(Added by participants: allowance, compassion) | ||
| sarcasm |
kindness p.67,
friendly p.17
(Added by participants: respect, maturity) | ||
| resentment (anger) |
tolerance p.67,
pity p.67,
patience p.67,
helpful p.67,
forgiveness p.70,
good will p.70
(Added by participants: peace, let it go, claim your joy, calm, purity, forgiveness) | ||
| envy |
admiration p.123,
respect p.43,
gratitude p.53,
thankful p,75,
approval p.151
(Added by participants: generosity, contentment, be satisfied, learn & grow) | ||
| jealousy |
trust p.68,
confidence p.89,
respect p.89
(Added by participants: admiration, give grace, bless, practice being satisfied, secure, be happy for others) | ||
| selfishness (greed) |
generosity p.61,
giving p.98,
unselfish p.93,
considerate p.93
(Added by participants: volunteer) | ||
| lust |
sane &
sound ideal sex life p.69,
help others p.70,
love p.83
(Added by participants: shift desire to God, purity, marriage, commitment, chaste, decency, resist temptation, restraint, truthful) | ||
| hate |
love p.83,
care p.35,
affection p.35,
tolerance p.67,
sympathy p.73
(Added by participants: empathy, concern, positive action) | ||
| retaliate (revenge) |
forgiveness p.70,
mercy p.70,
reconcile p.70,
(Added by participants: forgive 70 x 7, let it go) | ||
| suspicion | build
trust p.80,
faith p.68,
confidence p.75,
fact finding fact facing p.64,
(Added by participants: mind my own business, quit looking, don't judge) | ||
| fear |
love p.83,
courage p.68,
faith p.68, (Added by participants: hope, perfect love, confidence) |
| Pg. | Watchwords p.118 | |
|---|---|---|
| p.83,118,122 | love | |
| p.67,70,83,118 | patience | |
| p.67,83,118,122 | tolerance | |
| p.118,122 | understanding |
|
Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
AA 1st Ed p.96-98, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.84-85, 1st paragraph, line 1 This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. Step 4 p.67When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. Step 7 p.76 We discuss them with someone immediately Step 5 p.75 and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Step 9 p.77Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. Step 9 p.83 And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. Step 4 p.67 avoid retaliation or argument. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. |
|
Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying for only knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
AA 1st Ed p.98-100, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.85-88, 1st paragraph, line 1 Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Step 4 p.67 & Step 10 p.84 Do we owe an apology? Step 8 p.67,69,70 & Step 9 p.83 a remoresful mumbling that we are sorry won't fill the bill at all. Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Step 5 p.75 Were we kind and loving toward all? Step 9 p.77 What could we have done better? Step 4 p.69 What should we have done instead? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Step 3 p.62 Selfishness Self-centeredness Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? Step 12 p.102 ...maximimum helpfulness to others... But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. Step 1 p.30,152 jumping off place After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Step 4 p.69 we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Step 6 and 7 p.76 Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. Step 4 fear prayer... ...at once we outgrow fear... In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, Step 3 p.63, Step 7 p.76 and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer. As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day Thy will be done. We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions. Step 4 p67, ...our faults... We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves It works - it really does. We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve. |
|
Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
AA 1st Ed p.101, 2nd, 3rd & 4th Ed p.89, 1st paragraph, line 1 Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. HOMEWORK Read Chapter 7. (Guidance on passing it on.) You gotta give it away to keep it! There is one requirement at this point. Pass this on to one other person, the same way it was passed on to you. Come back and be the host or presenter on this workshop at least one time. If you want to continue on from that point, that's up to you. We'll help you. But at least exeperience passing it on one time. Do your 12th Step. This process ideally suggests that we take the first 9 steps one time and then live in the Maintenance Steps 10, 11 & 12. Any continued or deeper inventory is handled in Step 10. God is your "sponsor" now. Remember in the inventory AA p.71 it says, We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. AA p.70 ...we let God be the final judge. The whole point is to get you to a clear communication with God. He's the only one who has all the right answers to problems and concerns for your life. Just like it says on pages 69-70, 'Counsel with persons is often desireable, but we let God be the final judge.' The person who sponsored me said is not necessary to continue with a human "sponsor". If you choose to get a sponsor, that's your business. I cannot tell you not to. On the other hand, if you feel you don't have a good communication with God or a good grasp of working the steps after today, perhaps a 'spiritual advisor' (AA p.63) or 'human sponsor or mentor' may be of some benefit. But keep in mind, getting a sponsor or mentor is not in the instructions inside the first 164 pages of the text. People that I sponsor (described on page 263), go through the steps here and then the period of sponsorship is over. I am simply a friend from then on. I don't ever want someone to place their dependency on me or things human. No matter what, NO human could have relieved our alcoholism. We get our answers from God directly. We humbly rely on Him. Do you have any questions? Be aware that many people in regular AA meetings will not understand what you experienced here today. No one can deny you of your experience. You can see we followed the instructions and timeframes given. They won't believe you went through the 12 steps in one day, in one sitting. Don't let anyone discourage you. They don't have what you now have. You would do best to just add to any step discussion or topic. Search out new people and pull them to the side. You can gain their interest. Outline the program of action and how it helped you. Remember - you have reading homework
Best thing to do:
Other Suggested Readings:
|
|
AA Beginners Group 'Maintenance of Our Spiritual Condition' Period of Prayer & Meditation 'When we retire at night...' 9:15 PM EST Daily 6:00 AM EST Daily Join us for "Upon awakening..." In an effort to honor everyone's time here we are asking everyone to be conscious of the length of sharing on each of the many topics. By all means, if you have something to share, please do so. If it is a sensitive topic and you may need extra time, please consider saving it for afterwards and to even talk one-on-one with someone. We do have the option of breakout rooms so that is always a possibility. I am pasting this Assembly Agenda http://www.aabeginners.com/grouper/retire.html into the chat box right now. My last drink was on ____________.
This prayer was constructed from the instructions listed in Step Ten (AA p.85). [ASK THE PARTICIPANTS]: Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? For resentments (AA p.67): God, save us from being angry. Help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. For selfishness (AA p.63): God, relieve us from the bondage of self that we may better do Your will. For dishonesty (AA p.86): God, direct our thinking, especially that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. For fear (AA p.68): God, remove our fear and direct our attention to what You would have us be. For amends (AA p.76): We go out to our fellows and repair the damage done. If we haven't the will to do this, God, give us the will to go out to our fellows and repair the damage done. God, have I omitted anything? God, show is the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. God, what should we do about each specific matter? God, we ask especially for freedom from self-will? We throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and to the people about us. God, we ask for forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. TAKE SOME QUIET TIME (12 minutes) TO LISTEN TO GOD [IN CLOSING, ASK]: Any thoughts from your quiet time with Him? [CLOSE WITH PRAYER]: Heavenly Father... (Anyone want to offer up a prayer?) Amen We resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code
|